It has been a long time since I blogged .... but I have some thoughts that I just have to get down on paper.
Where is God when we are crying ?
We have a wonderful young couple who are dear to our hearts who found out their unborn baby has died.
Where is God when we are crying?
Parents lose their babies.
Children lose their parents.
Sisters and brothers lose their siblings.
People feel despair and take their owns lives.
Marriages crumble.
Disease occurs.
Where is God when we are crying?
Well .... I have an inside answer to that.
Read on ....
I was sexually molested the summer I was 9. There was an old man who lived on a farm. My parents would leave me there for the afternoon so I could ride his ponies, They only problem was .... they didn't know what he was doing to me in the barn.
But ... ya know what happened?
God held me. He held me as we watched what was going on. He held me and told me I did not need to hate the man .... I did not need to plot revenge against him. He told me the man was a dirty old man and that He would deal with the man when he died. The man would be punished for his action. He would take care of it.
I was not at fault. I had done nothing wrong.
But God was there ... He held me .... He comforted me .... and He consoled me.
Bad things happen. Some are caused by the decisions and action of others. Some are the results of some action on our part. Most, like disease and dying, are the results of our fallible bodies. We are created so that our bodies mutate. Otherwise we would all be carbon copies of each other and there would be no special person to attract us. Everyone would be the same and that would not be good.
Do we pray for miracles? Absolutely! And God still grants them on small day to day scales. But ..... we ALL deserve big miracles! We are ALL worthy of them!! And if that is the case then how does God decide who to grant them to? He loves us ALL! To grant one prayer and not grant another would be wrong. No one would understand why one person was worthy and another one was not. So he holds our loved ones, and comforts them and longs to comfort us as well.
So ....
Where is God when we are crying?
Where is God when we are angry?
Where is God when we are inconsolable?
He is holding his arms out and He is waiting to hold us ... on his lap .... above the turmoil going on down below.
And ... He is crying ....
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Why Do I Love You .... Let Me Count the Ways!
I woke up this morning to my husband grumbling ..... "You owe me big time"!!
Here, while I was still sleeping, Steve let my beloved house dog Kasey out, put on his own coat and boots, followed Kasey through the mud and snow as Kasey roamed the yard, waited patiently while Kasey did his "job" in a snow bank, dug it out of the snow bank, bagged it in a plastic bag, and brought it inside so I can deliver it to the vet's office this morning as Kasey's poop sample during his annual check-up!!
No other person that I know of would have done that for me!!
Yes, my darling Steve, I owe you big time!
And I think I know a way to repay you!!
;)
Here, while I was still sleeping, Steve let my beloved house dog Kasey out, put on his own coat and boots, followed Kasey through the mud and snow as Kasey roamed the yard, waited patiently while Kasey did his "job" in a snow bank, dug it out of the snow bank, bagged it in a plastic bag, and brought it inside so I can deliver it to the vet's office this morning as Kasey's poop sample during his annual check-up!!
No other person that I know of would have done that for me!!
Yes, my darling Steve, I owe you big time!
And I think I know a way to repay you!!
;)
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Out of Control
Ok .... my weight gain has gotten out of control ..... :(
I guess there are a lot of things that have contributed to it. Jeff's cancer and death. My cancer and clinical depression. Medication issues. Career changes. Midlife changes and my hysterectomy. I know the weight started creeping up when I had to put my last boxer dog to sleep, and I purchased my little Boston Terrier, Kasey. I had visions of hopping in the car with him and going to city and state parks and walking and hiking all over the place. But .... the combination of his short legs and his short muzzle leave him winded after 1/2 mile. And that short of a walk does nothing for me. So ..... we have developed into this relationship where we spend hours ..... and I mean hours..... with me in my recliner and him on my lap snuggled under a blanket. It is so awesomely incredible to do that with him! But .... my health is paying the price for it.
My weight has yo yo'd for years, so I have very little muscle mass left. I know .... I need to lift weights. And I used to do that when Craig had his 3 station Weider weight machine on our porch. But that has been replaced with grammie's toys for her little boys.
Part of me says .... I am a Grammie now .... and grammies are supposed to be soft and plump. But the other part of me says .... NO!! I want to be able to get on the floor and play with my grandsons without being totally winded when I try to get up. And I want to be able to take them in long stroller rides without having to stop to catch my breath.
In 1990 I lost 40 lbs and got down to 124 lbs. In 2000 I lost another 40 lbs and got down to 117 lbs. At Brian's wedding I was 130 lbs and felt great! When I left the bank and started at the insurance agency I was 140 and still felt good and my clothes fit well. But since then ... the combination of a sedentary job and middle age have caused me to become the heaviest I have ever been in my life. And it has to stop.
So ...... since nothing else I have tried lately has worked .... I opened an online account at livestrong.com/myplate last night. There you put in your height, weight, and activity level. For me it's 5'4, 174 lbs, sedentary. Then you plug in your weight goals ..... for me - to lose 2 lbs a week .... and then it gives you the amount of calories you can eat each day in order to meet that goal .... 999 calories for me. Then there is a place to record everything you eat, and the number of calories each item contains. And it keeps a running total of what you have already consumed for the day, and how many more calories you can eat in order to meet your stated goal.
Today is day 1. We will see how it goes.
All I know is .... something has to change. And I am the only one who can change it.
I guess there are a lot of things that have contributed to it. Jeff's cancer and death. My cancer and clinical depression. Medication issues. Career changes. Midlife changes and my hysterectomy. I know the weight started creeping up when I had to put my last boxer dog to sleep, and I purchased my little Boston Terrier, Kasey. I had visions of hopping in the car with him and going to city and state parks and walking and hiking all over the place. But .... the combination of his short legs and his short muzzle leave him winded after 1/2 mile. And that short of a walk does nothing for me. So ..... we have developed into this relationship where we spend hours ..... and I mean hours..... with me in my recliner and him on my lap snuggled under a blanket. It is so awesomely incredible to do that with him! But .... my health is paying the price for it.
My weight has yo yo'd for years, so I have very little muscle mass left. I know .... I need to lift weights. And I used to do that when Craig had his 3 station Weider weight machine on our porch. But that has been replaced with grammie's toys for her little boys.
Part of me says .... I am a Grammie now .... and grammies are supposed to be soft and plump. But the other part of me says .... NO!! I want to be able to get on the floor and play with my grandsons without being totally winded when I try to get up. And I want to be able to take them in long stroller rides without having to stop to catch my breath.
In 1990 I lost 40 lbs and got down to 124 lbs. In 2000 I lost another 40 lbs and got down to 117 lbs. At Brian's wedding I was 130 lbs and felt great! When I left the bank and started at the insurance agency I was 140 and still felt good and my clothes fit well. But since then ... the combination of a sedentary job and middle age have caused me to become the heaviest I have ever been in my life. And it has to stop.
So ...... since nothing else I have tried lately has worked .... I opened an online account at livestrong.com/myplate last night. There you put in your height, weight, and activity level. For me it's 5'4, 174 lbs, sedentary. Then you plug in your weight goals ..... for me - to lose 2 lbs a week .... and then it gives you the amount of calories you can eat each day in order to meet that goal .... 999 calories for me. Then there is a place to record everything you eat, and the number of calories each item contains. And it keeps a running total of what you have already consumed for the day, and how many more calories you can eat in order to meet your stated goal.
Today is day 1. We will see how it goes.
All I know is .... something has to change. And I am the only one who can change it.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Catching up!
It's been awhile since I have been on here. All is well .... just been very very busy!
Brian, Kelly, and Ty moved into their "new" home last weekend. They bought a fixer-upper last Fall and Brian spent the year gutting it and rebuilding it from the studs in. He created a downstairs bedroom, laundry room, and 2nd bathroom, and he totally redid the wiring in the kitchen, built a pantry, installed new cabinets, and repositioned the sink to an outside wall! The house has a huge vaulted ceiling living room in the rear of the house that gives them so much more room than they had before. He still needs to finish some trim work downstairs, gut the upstairs, knock out a wall to make an open den and separate bedroom this winter, and next summer he is removing the enclosed front porch and pouring a cement floor to make it an open porch with pillars and an overhang. I am just so proud of him for all he has accomplished! And I am so proud of Kelly for living through all of the renovations and changes. They have created a wonderful home for their family. And I am so happy for all of them!!
Ty is growing by leaps and bounds! He is 20 mos old now, and his favorite word is "no". :) He has a fairly large vocabulary, but he has discovered that this word has immediate consequences so he has latched on to it. The only trouble is, he deprives himself of some things he probably would really like to have because his constant answer is "no" when we offer him things. Oh well ....terrible twos ...here we come!!
We miss Craig, Jesse, and Rocco so much! Rocco is 8 mos old, crawling everywhere, pulling himself up, and standing alone for a few seconds at a time. His daddy walked alone the day he turned 9 mos old, so we'll see if Rocco is gonna be able to match that. He is such a happy and delightful boy! But .... he seldom ever sleeps! He is a real night owl. He seldom goes down for the night before midnight, and usually is awake a few times between then and morning. Jesse is so exhausted! They have talked to their Dr about it, but she said some babies don't get their sleep patterns regulated until they are 10 mos old. And for some, they don't get regulated until they are two yrs old! Let's pray he is in the first category instead of the last!
Most of you know that Steve is selling his cows. With a grandson 16 hrs away he just decided that he is tired of being tied down with them. We want to be able to travel more. And as he ages he is having more aches and pains that twice daily chores don't help. Anyway, since this blog entry is titled "Catching Up" I have to share a scene with his cows I observed the other day....
He has part of them sold already, but not delivered. So he has been running them in two different pastures. Well .... the other day I looked out and noticed that the two herds are now positioned nose to nose over the fence. It was so interesting seeing how all the cows were "chatting" over the fence with their long lost pasture mates. I could just envision them catching up with each other.
"Hi Myrtle! How the heck have you been? How is the fodder on your side of the fence? Good! Wow! That's great! Ours is getting a little stemmy now, but is not too tough yet! How are you feeling? I have been having a little bit of morning sickness ... and this calf has just started to kick a little .... but otherwise ... I am feeling fine! Just tired as usual! Oh .... dear ... I am so sorry to hear that .... yes .... well ....that sometimes happens. Well, Myrtle I hope you get over that indigestion thing real soon. The nice green grass should help to clear that up! Well ..... It's sure been nice catching up with you! I'm gonna go munch a bunch. Let's catch up again soon!"
:)
Brian, Kelly, and Ty moved into their "new" home last weekend. They bought a fixer-upper last Fall and Brian spent the year gutting it and rebuilding it from the studs in. He created a downstairs bedroom, laundry room, and 2nd bathroom, and he totally redid the wiring in the kitchen, built a pantry, installed new cabinets, and repositioned the sink to an outside wall! The house has a huge vaulted ceiling living room in the rear of the house that gives them so much more room than they had before. He still needs to finish some trim work downstairs, gut the upstairs, knock out a wall to make an open den and separate bedroom this winter, and next summer he is removing the enclosed front porch and pouring a cement floor to make it an open porch with pillars and an overhang. I am just so proud of him for all he has accomplished! And I am so proud of Kelly for living through all of the renovations and changes. They have created a wonderful home for their family. And I am so happy for all of them!!
Ty is growing by leaps and bounds! He is 20 mos old now, and his favorite word is "no". :) He has a fairly large vocabulary, but he has discovered that this word has immediate consequences so he has latched on to it. The only trouble is, he deprives himself of some things he probably would really like to have because his constant answer is "no" when we offer him things. Oh well ....terrible twos ...here we come!!
We miss Craig, Jesse, and Rocco so much! Rocco is 8 mos old, crawling everywhere, pulling himself up, and standing alone for a few seconds at a time. His daddy walked alone the day he turned 9 mos old, so we'll see if Rocco is gonna be able to match that. He is such a happy and delightful boy! But .... he seldom ever sleeps! He is a real night owl. He seldom goes down for the night before midnight, and usually is awake a few times between then and morning. Jesse is so exhausted! They have talked to their Dr about it, but she said some babies don't get their sleep patterns regulated until they are 10 mos old. And for some, they don't get regulated until they are two yrs old! Let's pray he is in the first category instead of the last!
Most of you know that Steve is selling his cows. With a grandson 16 hrs away he just decided that he is tired of being tied down with them. We want to be able to travel more. And as he ages he is having more aches and pains that twice daily chores don't help. Anyway, since this blog entry is titled "Catching Up" I have to share a scene with his cows I observed the other day....
He has part of them sold already, but not delivered. So he has been running them in two different pastures. Well .... the other day I looked out and noticed that the two herds are now positioned nose to nose over the fence. It was so interesting seeing how all the cows were "chatting" over the fence with their long lost pasture mates. I could just envision them catching up with each other.
"Hi Myrtle! How the heck have you been? How is the fodder on your side of the fence? Good! Wow! That's great! Ours is getting a little stemmy now, but is not too tough yet! How are you feeling? I have been having a little bit of morning sickness ... and this calf has just started to kick a little .... but otherwise ... I am feeling fine! Just tired as usual! Oh .... dear ... I am so sorry to hear that .... yes .... well ....that sometimes happens. Well, Myrtle I hope you get over that indigestion thing real soon. The nice green grass should help to clear that up! Well ..... It's sure been nice catching up with you! I'm gonna go munch a bunch. Let's catch up again soon!"
:)
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Craig, Jesse, and Rocco come to visit!
I don't know if anyone is still reading this blog or not .... but I just have to share this anyway!
We just had the most wonderful visit with Craig, Jesse, and Rocco! They came from VA to spend a long weekend with us. We had 26 friends and relatives over to our house on Sunday evening so they could bond with everyone. The group included 4 little guys under the age of 2yr .... so a good time was had by all!
I tell ya ..... Rocco is just the most adorable little guy. He is not fond of sleeping .... he is a real night owl .... but when he is awake he is the happiest most jovial little guy around! He is so much like his daddy was when he was little. Not that he isn't still a jovial and happy guy! ;)
Following are just a few pics from the weekend. There is one of my mom with him, one of Steve and I with him, and the last couple are of Ty and Rocco together. We have discovered it is impossible to get a pic with both of them smiling at the same time .... but we tried!
Oh, for the record ..... Ty is 17 mos and Rocco is almost 6mos.
Enjoy!
We just had the most wonderful visit with Craig, Jesse, and Rocco! They came from VA to spend a long weekend with us. We had 26 friends and relatives over to our house on Sunday evening so they could bond with everyone. The group included 4 little guys under the age of 2yr .... so a good time was had by all!
I tell ya ..... Rocco is just the most adorable little guy. He is not fond of sleeping .... he is a real night owl .... but when he is awake he is the happiest most jovial little guy around! He is so much like his daddy was when he was little. Not that he isn't still a jovial and happy guy! ;)
Following are just a few pics from the weekend. There is one of my mom with him, one of Steve and I with him, and the last couple are of Ty and Rocco together. We have discovered it is impossible to get a pic with both of them smiling at the same time .... but we tried!
Oh, for the record ..... Ty is 17 mos and Rocco is almost 6mos.
Enjoy!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Released!
I got released from the Doctor!
I got to lift my grandson, Ty!
I am back at work earning a paycheck!
Yea!
Life is good again!
:)
I got to lift my grandson, Ty!
I am back at work earning a paycheck!
Yea!
Life is good again!
:)
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Catheter Removal - Soon!
Two days left until the Foley Catheter is removed!
Please pray that everything starts working again like it is supposed to.
It's been 7 weeks since I have held Ty! And 5 weeks since I have seen him!
And that is way too long a deprivation for this Grammie!
:(
Please pray that everything starts working again like it is supposed to.
It's been 7 weeks since I have held Ty! And 5 weeks since I have seen him!
And that is way too long a deprivation for this Grammie!
:(
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